tuesday truths - the positives of a negative

♥ everyone i know is still safe, still healthy, still happy

♥ seeing people come together while staying apart

♥ spending time with 20…he makes me hot dogs or grilled cheese for lunch
which makes the fact that he got a new video game AND WON’T STOP
YELLING AT THE TV a tiny bit more bearable

♥ being able to rent movies from YouTube and google play

♥ extra time to read

♥ getting out with the dog every day at lunch

♥ yoga stretch breaks don’t look quite so silly in my house
as compared to in the office

♥ music plays all day as i work from home and NO ONE yells
at me from over the cubicle wall for singing :)

♥ i have not run out of jujubes yet

♥ a tension filled game of online scrabble with a worthy component (who
is going to lose but I am not sure she has come to terms with that yet)

♥ my mom calls me every second night, just to check in…

♥ texts and messages from friends

♥ painting bears and new cards and catching up on blogs

♥ planning my garden…there WILL be a garden this year….a garden of epic-ness

♥ texts from my girl and knowing that she is happy right now…which makes me
incredibly happy

♥ started feeding the birds every morning (right after I disinfect all the doorknobs)
and started seeing little teeny tiny birds come EVERY DAY! :)

I know these are tough times…
scary and uncertain…
uncharted waters.
But there are tiny glimmers of good,
you just have to look a little harder for them…

I have cut back drastically on my FB reading
and I never, ever, EVER read the comments…
I get a summary of the news from a good friend
who knows how much I can handle…
i am on a need-to-know basis.

Do what works for you.
But breathe.
Find calm.
Make a puzzle. Watch a movie.
Find something that makes you laugh really hard,
and then watch it again.
Connect. Listen. Be still. It’s ok.
We got this.

xo

tuesday truths on an up and down kinda day...

20 left for Toronto this morning
after a stressful, snowy, slushy 3 am drive
to the airport.

I am always proud of him
for his role in these youth conferences
and happy that he gets to
have these amazing experiences
and meet so many people
and I know it has helped
develop him in ways that
it would have been difficult to
provide here…

but…I miss him.
And I know it’s only a week
and that lots of people go farther away
and for much longer but…

I don’t care.

I still miss him.

Today was a day full of ups and downs…

I am excited about the online courses I am taking/
I am terrified about the online courses I am taking.

A hard decision I made kinda feels right/
the same hard decision makes me a little sad
and not always sure that it was right.

I am happy that spring is coming/
I just remembered my leaky front door.

Up and down.

But instead of ending this post with that…
how about this instead…the other day I ran
into a friend at the grocery store who said
”oh wait! I have something for you!”
and she dug into her bag and found me some smurfs
which ALWAYS makes me happy
but one of them…was smurfette…on a keychain…
and soooooo tiny!!!!
I could barely contain my excitement.
Heeheehee.

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(but…truth…i still miss 20).

the epitome of geekiness lives here...

There are things I know I should not share.

This is one of them.

Yet…here I am…sharing it anyway. :)

I like schedules and routines and lists…
and color coded spreadsheets.

I feel like there is a lot that I want to accomplish
this year..this is my year to “ignite” after all!

Sometimes, though,
I feel like things are getting away from me…
like time is getting away from me…
like I can’t fit it all in…
so I made this little schedule for myself.

And, as crazy as it looks, it has definitely helped.

Nothing about it is carved in stone.
If something comes up,
like the chance to go to a movie
(AND PAY A RIDICULOUS AMOUNT
FOR POPCORN but I am not going to rant
about that again)…or go for a coffee
with your brother, then I happily do those things…
but otherwise…I try to stick to the schedule
but…mainly for balance.

I have also started an accountability group
with some friends and I can’t even tell you
how awesome that has been.

To get together once a month at your
favorite coffee house and geek it out
over pens, spreadsheets, apps and color coding
WHILE gently holding each other accountable
for goals that we have set AND
being excited for each other when
targets are hit and boxes are ticked off,
well…it’s pretty damn exhilarating and energizing.

I know I say this every year…
but I think that THIS is gonna be my year.
:)

tuesday truths...in 2020

♥ the truth is I am still using winter photos from 2018
because I have not gotten out with my camera in
forever and that makes me a little sad.

♥ the truth is I spent a ridiculous amount of time
creating a color coded spreadsheet to help me
determine how I should spend every second of my time
because I sometimes feel a little overwhelmed and
worried that I can’t do everything that I want to do.

♥ the truth is…the color coded spreadsheet
made me feel so much better. I like having a plan.

♥ the truth is I wish I had a big bag of chips right now
but instead I know I have to get on the treadmill in 16 minutes
because that’s what color coded spreadsheet told me to do.

♥ the truth is…I still feel pretty optimistic that 2020 is going to be
a big year for me…I have plans…and blueprints…and goals…
and a fancy color coded spreadsheet.

#stansgottaplan

:)

tuesday truths

i love fall.

i really do.
the brilliance of the trees,
the crunch under my feet
of leaves and twigs
snapping and crackling…
the smell of wood smoke in the air
and feeling like
after the go-go-go
panicked frenzy to enjoy
EVERY FRIGGING SECOND OF SUMMER
while it’s here,
now
i can start
to slow down….

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now
i start to give myself permission
to climb into bed
with a mountain
of fuzzy blankets,
some hot chocolate,
and a pile of books….

fall is movies and stories and blanket forts,
trail hikes, if i feel like it, and messy hair
(cause my hat will cover it anyway),
vanilla scented candles,
cinnamon apples, brown sugar on toast…
big thick fuzzy socks (but never in bed!)
and pajamas with hoods…

fall is cozy.

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i love summer.
summer is exciting and exhilarating
and on a deadline
and you can’t waste a second
cause if you blink,
it’s gone.

but fall…
fall is kinda like my mom.
Comforting and sweet and
always makes me feel better.

winter, on the other hand…well….
i kinda hate that guy.
Heh.

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