tuesday truths - right now...

right here,
right now….
i am happy.

happier and more content
than i have been in a long time.

i’m not even really sure why.
but then i think
why question it?
just accept it.

i hated working from home at first
but i am loving it right now…
i miss seeing everyone
but i love waking up
and getting outside for a quick
early morning walk,
the birds chirping,
sun shining…
checking the garden on my way back…
starting my workday
with stretches and tea,
soft music,
maybe a candle…
or just knowing i can open the window
and let the breeze in…
cat & pug snuggle breaks throughout the day…

i am settling into a routine that
i am honestly loving.

i always, always
heart
summer
but this one feels different.

i feel like
overnight
i let go of something
heavy,
something
i didn’t even realize
i had been holding on to…

and the feeling of
lightness
is hard to explain.

i feel like i can breathe again.
♥

solitude...silence...sunshine...

I had big plans to get out of the house today…
there was sunshine and blue sky.
I got up early and did the big house things -
cleaned out the freezer,
split up the meat I bought to freeze it
in smaller portions
because I am trying to finally start cooking
for 1 to 2 instead of 4….

I was planning to go for a long drive,
maybe stop for a hike…
bring myself some snacks,
take the camera,
a playlist…
maybe stop somewhere quick and
pick up a rake.

But…when I got in the car,
it wouldn’t start.
Google tells me it might be the solenoid in the starter…
blah.

So instead of a long drive or a new rake,
I curled up in a chair by the window
and read a book while eating oreos….
so…almost as good.

Honestly, the silence and the solitude
are starting to wear on me a little tiny bit.

I think I will spend the rest of the evening
letting myself feel a little bit sad…
catching up on this show that I love,
and maybe grey’s anatomy and
I started this last night and thought I would not like it…
but was SO pleasantly surprised.
The first episode made me laugh AND cry last night.

and this….this also made me cry a little bit…heehee…so sweet

thinking out loud...

how are you getting along?
i mean, really?
are you ok?
i hope that you are….that you have someone to talk to
and someone to hug you tight…
and someone who makes you laugh really hard
and that you have lots of food to eat…
and that you are taking a break from
the bad stuff on the tv and social media.

here's how it’s been in the big orange house:

• trying to keep my regular bedtime/morning routines

• a lot of “hair jammed into a messy bun” & leggings/pjs

• i don’t normally take baths because i can’t justify the cost of
  filling that giant tub…but i have been making an exception…
  while using epsom salts, playing music and
  drinking ginger ale out of a fancy glass.

• spending at least half an hour on yoga every day…have been
  doing yoga with adriene - Home (30 days)

• reading my stockpile of books (I can’t wait to tell you about 2 of them!!)

• writing a little bit in a journal every morning

• getting outside every day, even if just for 15 minutes

• snuggling the cat

• watching/listening to a LOT of damien rice…i am not going to lie
  I may have developed a small obsession here….this is on the
  daily playlist

• NOT tracking my eating

• daydreaming about planting a giant garden

• working on new paintings (coming soon!)

• watching star wars, marvel series & movies (on agent carter now), renting the
  occasional movie as a treat (thinking this might be up next)

• eating a lot of peanut butter…and drinking a lot of diet coke…

• making plans to do things, but then losing whole days to
  music, books and movies….and not really feeling that bad about it.

• feeding the birds & getting very excited when I see one…

this guy makes it very hard to work…but also, gives me lots of cuddles…

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sweet sundays...

I always love Sundays…
especially slow, quiet, sunny sundays.
Blue sky.
No wind.
Birds singing, snow melting..
sounds of spring.

It is a little hard to stay positive right now.
People are stressed out, people are scared.
It’s hard to avoid the news, the fear,
the negativity…
and every time I turn around there is a Facebook post
shaming people for this, judging people for that,
jumping to assumptions, snapping photos of people to shame online
without even knowing their story,
spreading anger, fear, outrage, panic, and hurtful, possibly harmful misinformation.

It’s hard to stay positive right now.

But I went for an hour long walk today
and yes, as I met people, we moved away from each other,
giving a wide berth to pass
but we also called out things like
”Beautiful day, eh?” and “Nice to see that sun!”

and then I came home and saw little purple flowers
growing in the front yard.

There was a bbq happening on the front deck
and the kids across the street played badminton
in the middle of the road. Our neighbors
washed their cars, people waved as they walked by
with their dogs and chickadees landed
right outside my window.

And I reminded myself that I have to stop letting
the manic-panic parts of the pandemic
get to me.
I can’t control how other people respond,
but I can control what I allow in,
what I allow myself to absorb
and I am choosing right now to find
stillness and sweetness in silence,
to sit in the sunny spot on the deck with a book…
to write in a journal, watch a good movie,
start seeds for my garden, check in with friends & family,
to not only find calm for myself but to try to be
a bright spot in someone else’s day if I can…
share a funny story,
talk about books i am loving,
post photos of pugs with snaggletooth smiles…

This is not at all what I meant to write here today.
But, honestly, I feel a little bit better now that I did.
I hope you do, too.
big virtual hugs, you. ♥
we got this.

polka dots, pugs and almost the first dairy bar run...

I am feeling a little calmer about the
state of the world today…
I am adjusting a little better after
giving myself a little bit of a FB break.

I did go into Charlottetown on Friday
for coffee with a friend….
if you have never gone to Bar 1911,
you should totally check it out.
It’s a beautiful little spot and
I totally want to try out their specialty coffee
that comes with a shot of fireball.
mmmm.
And…& the menu had DOUGHNUT BOWLS?!?
I must try this.

I spent the rest of the weekend
studying and working on cards,
vegging out to music,
catching up on grays anatomy,
watching movies about judy garland,
eating jujubes by the handful,
making chicken noodle soup in the slow cooker
and reading a brand new book…

today pugsley & I
took a walk on the boardwalk
in the blue sky
and sunshine
and it was beautiful and crisp and fresh…
we went down on the beach
and walked for a long time
in the silence and the stillness
and for that little bit,
I totally forgot that there was anything
scary going on in the world
all around me.

In that moment,
it was just me and a pug,
some polka dot rubber boots
and the seagulls…

and…we would have gone to the dairy bar
but sooooo many cars….
haha. it was chaos of a different kind.
we’ll save that treat for when the snow melts a little bit more.