lists and books all in one post?

sound too good to be true?
its not...
cause i'm doing it
right here, right now...

borrowed loosely from
acumamakiki

here goes:

like acumamakiki, i had trouble picking
"influential" books and chose to do my

three all time favorites instead...

-Fall On Your Knees by Anne-Marie MacDonald...
a book that made me gasp, made me sigh,
made me angry, made me cry, made me have
to find it in hardcover so i could own the option
of reading it whenever i wanted.

-The Piano Mans Daughter by Timothy Findley...
i don't plan picking Canadian authors, it just happens.
this book had me bawling behind the counter at the
store i worked at while reading it...

-Rapture of Canaan by Sheri Reynolds...
i don't own this book and it has been a long time
since i read it but it sticks in my memory as being
a book that i wanted to share, i wanted to force
everyone i met to read it and share my feelings
for it.

three books read more than once

-anne of green gables...heh...i knew parts of
that off by heart when i was kid and even
now if i pick it up, i get easily caught up
in the story again.

-fall on your knees...it was too good not
to read over and over

-the witching hour by anne rice...

three books that were supposed to be great
that i actually hated...

-the celestine prophecy
-the historian...i didn't hate it...but i didn't love it
and i did hate the fact that i was so psyched for it
and it fell short of my expectations
-catcher in the rye...i don't know why i hated it
as badly as i did but i did hate it...with venom.

three books just for pleasure that i have read...

-summer sisters by judy blume
-king con by stephen j cannell
-and then most of my "light" reading gets filled
with my magazine addiction

three books i should have read long ago
because i have had them on my list forever...
(a little alteration on my part)

-one hundred years of solitude -marquez
-war and peace - tolstoy
-the uses of enchantment- bruno bettelheim

and since i never seem to buy any books,
i had to adjust this one, too, to be
last three books i have read (rather than bought)

-the english patient by micheal ondaatje
-secret life of bees by sue monk kidd
-mermaid chair by sue monk kidd

and one last thing...the book i am reading
right now is the private voice by peter gzowski

i had big plans on some major linkage
but...holy...thats alot of linking and
so my momentum kind of said never mind.
heh.

belated sunday scribblings

what i remember.

what i remember?

a big red apartment building
with scary stairs and train tracks
running behind.

the smell of gas
coming off strong on my dad's clothes
when he came home from the garage.

pigeons being mistaken
for butterflies
and toasters catching on fire.

sesame street
and the friendly giant.
its bixby and me, we live in a tree...
inside out
and cbc educational television.

creamed peas on toast
(which i hated)

****************************
moving to the country.

a house with red shingles,
a blue tree house with real windows,
hanging from my knees from a tree.

meeting R at her birthday party
at her grandmother's house
and the beginning of our bond.

crying everytime my dad shaved
his moustache off and
running behind the house to hide.

the smell of the house when my mom
spent a day cleaning...the curtains off
the windows, everything so bright,
the scent of pine-sol and windex,
another world on tv
with rachel and mac being my favorites.

eating goulash
(which i hated)
and telling the fishman no one was home
when he drove in the driveway
for fear of having to eat mackeral,
ugh.

****************************
starting school,
being anxious,
being worried, being scared,
feeling sad and alone and different.
peanut butter sandwiches.
jealousy that everyone else still got to stay home
with mom but me...

thunder and lightning at school
at recess
and the pandemonium of everyone
rushing for the door at once,
yelling
and crushing
and getting my arm caught in the
steel door,
crying
and calling my mom to come
get me
but she couldn't.

always pretending to skip
in the playground,
without a skipping rope,
all by myself.

reading archie comics
during grade one
and getting in trouble.

my mom telling my dad
that if he didn't stop drinking
she was going to leave him,
neither of them knowing
to this day
that i was sitting on the stairs
in the muted colored light
that came through my favorite
stained glass window
hyperventilating
and
anticipating
the divorce
that would never happen.

"our D-I-V-O-R-C-E becomes final
today, me and little J-O-E will be
going away"
******************************

my dad quit drinking
(he never drank much anyway,
only on the weekends)

vacations in the big blue van
with orange flowered curtains.

anxiety lessening as i got older,
still a loner for a long time,
relying on myself for amusement...
eventually becoming somewhat more
adept
at social skills...

grateful sunday (written on a sunday)

i realize this morning that even when
i am upset or sad or confused,
i still have so much that i am grateful for
and that
things always seem better
in the morning.

what i am loving this week:

-the way this blog makes me think
-the way this blog makes me feel
-the response my handmade card and blanket
received at the baby shower i attended friday night
-spending time with six yesterday tickling
and giggling
-a headache gone
-a hot bath last night with tons of bubbles
-easy access to lilacs, which led to a lilac filled house
all weekend
-how these blogs inspire me and make me want
to do things
-the sight of teeny-tiny lettuce already growing
in the garden

hope you all had a fantastic weekend!

oh and sunday scribblings here

poetry-thursday-read-aloud

prompted by liz and lynn
to read some poetry out loud this week,
i skimmed through a book of canadian poets
and randomly chose some to read aloud.

i sat on my couch
in a silent, still house...
heavy, overcast skies
heavy with the promise of thunder
weighed me down, too,
and slowed my mind's pace,
allowing me to take in the words
i was reading out loud
in turn
with the addicting scent of lilac
freshly picked
and placed on the table behind me.

and i waited for something
to strike a chord.

this is what did:

There Are Delicacies

there are delicacies in you
like the hearts of watches
there are wheels that turn
on the tips of rubies
& tiny intricate locks

i need your help
to contrive keys
there is so little time
even for the finest
of watches

Earle Birney

which in turn led me to feel full of words
with no place to go
so i tried to harness them here
and oddly enough,
what i wrote tonight
seemed to fit as a second half to what i wrote on
may 25....



1.

this morning, i was corel
i was word perfect
i was full of type.
i was media friendly
and worth the hype.
my font looked good,
crisp in clarity, black and white.
my pages were updated,
my codes functioning right.
my audience pixelated,
my mind; my site.

2.

tonight i feel slow and languid
pregnant with pause
and deliberation
words mulling around inside my brain
seeking forgiveness
seeking refrain
and yet, i cannot redeem...
i can only constrain.
they beat against my thoughts
dully with powder soft wings
they nudge and bump my metaphors
with the intensity
apathy brings.