purple rain was the first R rated movie
i ever saw...
i went to the captitol theatre
with my cousin Linda...

i watched the movie millions of times
after that
and knew the words by heart.
i even made my father watch the movie.
in his defense, he pretended to like it,
for my sake...
even though i realize now
that it was likely a very uncomfortable movie
to watch with your daughter...heh.

i wore purple religiously for my 3 years of high school.
purple binders, backpacks, purple colored ink in the pens
that i used to write
i <3 prince and billy idol rules all over my desk
in english class
(and, subsequently, had to wash off)...
purple shoes, purple hair clips...
my grade 12 year book is full of comments about purple
(and prince) (and billy idol)...

i dragged my best friend off with me to see
under a cherry moon
there was only one other person in the theater besides us...
the little brother of a friend of mine
(which was funny, because his brother and i used to discuss
prince in great length...when he wasn't trying to make me
listen to genesis...)

people used to record prince concerts for me (we didn't have cable)
and leave prince tapes in my mailbox....
i listened to around the world in a day on repeat for months...
i danced alone in my room to little red corvette
and raspberry beret...
i defended him when he changed his name to a symbol
and i put his whole discography on my phone
(do you know how much space that is...
that is a very large volume of work.)

one of my best memories that involves prince
actually revolves more around my mom.
i listened to the soundtrack of purple rain relentlessly...
and a friend of the family tried to point out the
sex-aspect to my mom...specifically the song darling nikki
(i was 14 when purple rain came out)...
and my mom didn't budge...didn't flinch...didn't hesitate...
i was never told not to listen to it.
and that
meant a lot to me
and has stuck with me for this long.

and now he's gone.

it's funny how these people you have never met
become so entwined in your memories...
and it feels so real...there is a true sense of loss
but you aren't sure how much of it
is actually tied more to the passing of your own
youth...

he was complex and odd and lyrical and original...
& somewhere he is in the purple rain
having starfish and coffee and waiting for the parade.

Sometimes it snows in April
Sometimes I feel so bad, so bad
Sometimes I wish that life was never ending,
But all good things, they say, never last

The beautiful ones, they hurt u everytime

april was-