tuesday, tuesday...

5 really good things right off the top of my head
{a tribute to liz elayne}...

1. an impromptu shopping spree

2. a poem surprisingly shared with me by 14
and being blown away by her turns of phrase...

3. panko brie chicken with garlicky ceaser salad and
my adorable sweet husband to share it with...

4. a short week to look forward to

5. how cute ten looks with his surfer shaggy hair cut
and muscle shirt with his dad's hemp necklace...

mmmmm...i love good things.

loud silence

the words that i long to say
just won't roll off my tongue...
instead
they stick like glue
and my heart hurts
because the words that did
come out
feel jagged and sharp and bitter
like bile
and i've hurt you and i've hurt you
my little girl,
my grown up too fast first child...
and i don't know what to say to you
anymore
i don't know how to make it better
when none of my old words will work...
my old words clash against your fragile butterfly wing feelings
they shatter, they smash, they crash to the floor.

and i hear your music come on
as i stand on the other side of your door...

monday morning happiness list

~watching ten and 14 go outside in the rain to dance
around like lunatics with their father, the biggest
lunatic of them all...

~ten and 14 made cards for their dad for father's day...
14's made me cry when i read it...she cut photos and
quotes from comics and books and then added her own
little poem at the end...

you get that from your father,
is one of her favorite lines,
shes daddys little girl,
and in his light she shines,
she strives to be just like him,
...abilities, looks, and speech,
like climbing a tree, from limb to limb,
the top, she will soon reach,
mistakes, tears, and sadness,
all start to fade away,
when he reads the poem,
she wrote him for fathers day.
happy fathers day dad :)

~hot chocolate and cookies while watching
mrs. doubtfire with the kids and S.

~a clean house that smells like vanilla and lemons...

~breaking down saturday morning over something
that has been bothering me for a long time and finally
telling S. about it and crying for about half an hour...
a release i obviously needed. and how sweet he was
about it...

~french toast and maple bacon for breakfast

the last of my snow photos...

i am barely awake
in my husband's housecoat
and barefeet


i sit before a flickering screen
and wait
for words to emerge


this week has been very full and busy
in good ways
but i am starting to think
i can't keep going at this speed...
not the way i'm doing it...
fueling myself on cinnamon rolls
and can after can of diet coke
no water, no healthy food
not sleeping enough...
and i haven't been on the treadmill in a week
{although i did take my camera for a walk wednesday night,
that's gotta count for something?}

oh.
and any suggestions for music?
i LOVE the she and him cd
which i just got and have been playing non-stop...
i'm open to trying just about anything.

{i just realized that there is a NEW she and him cd,
yay!! and did you see the cover...how sssssweeettt is that?
sigh...}

little bits of happiness on wednesday morning...

~fresh strawberries sprinkled with sugar
left just long enough for the sugar to turn red
and juicy and sticky

~finding new music to be inspired by

~sunshine

~feeling drunk with possibility

~an extra long hug from ten last night...
we are going through a bit of a challenging time
so that hug felt good, like old times.

~the light through the leaves outside my window right now

~tickle fights and late night conversations

~positive feedback both at work and on my latest photos
{and i need some beleif in myself right now in both areas
so this was very much appreciated}

~journalling at 6 am...remembering i have this book that i
haven't tried yet...realizing that so many of the things i have
been asking for in my journal have been coming through for
me in a gradual way...

and yes, i am showing winter pictures but i was late getting these
edited and well...i kind of like them...heehee