time is passing...

i feel time is flying by
and each day,
i find it harder and harder to get here.

i thought that when the weddings were done,
i would have time...
i thought that when the kids were back in school,
i would have time...
i thought that when the house was clean,
i would have time...

but the truth has just occured to me.

i need to make the time.

little bits of happiness on wednesday morning...


~a feeling of accomplishment, of energy, of getting things done...

~the new issue of Artful Blogging which i have been savoring and only
reading in snippets to make it's sweetness last just a little bit longer...

~the alice in wonderland soundtrack on the drive to and from work...
love that cd!

~sunset through rain clouds

~pre-ordering this book...now the sweet anticipation of waiting for it's arrival

40. forty. 40. forty. 40. forty. 40. forty. 40. forty. 40

first day of school (high school for my new pink haired punk princess} and grade six for her sweet as sugar l'il brother...


so
this is it.

my 40th birthday.
september 8, 2010.
40 years old.

to be honest,
i'm not sure how i feel about it yet.

i think i have written and blogged and talked
and listed and facebooked and analyzed and thought
for so long about turning 40
that now that i am {40}
i am not sure how to feel...

remember i wrote that post a few weeks ago
about thinking life would be different at this stage of my life,
how i thought life would be easier...
and it's not.

well...i'm trying to switch my focus.
so we still owe money.
so the house still needs work.
what has happened? what can i say i have achieved?
what has made me happy?

16 years together with my husband {12 years married later this week}
2 amazingly interesting thoughtful funny eccentric children
we bought a house
my current job which i hope to stay in for a long time
my family, so supportive and funny and sweet
friends from elementary school that really, really know me
new friends made
a photography show
making a go at the photography business and having my 2nd
successful summer of weddings
going to writers workshops, putting myself out there
being interview for a full page in a local paper
getting my driver's license, driving long distances in winter!
surviving going off the road 3 times last winter
blogging for over 5 years now

i'm happy...i really am.
this is my year to focus on what is good in my life
as it becomes aware to me
that everything/one that is good in my life
may not always be here
and i need to grab the moments i can...right now...
and i need to live my life...right now.
no more waiting for the right moment.

i need to start diving in.

so happy 40th birthday to me.
i'm curious to see what the year will bring.