rollerblades? heh...heh...

i had posted a story earlier about my limited and
sometimes worrisome
bike experiences
which prompted cassiopeia to inquire
about any roller blading experience...
heh.
heh.

well
the one that comes screeching to a halt in my mind
is that of me rollerblading by myself about 6 years ago
and feeling fairly on-the-ball and in control
until i realized
i was going downhill
and
i didn't know how to stop
and
i was picking up speed
and
there was a 4 way stop at the bottom of the hill
and
did i mention
i was picking up speed?
and didn't know how to stop?
so, as usual, the warring voices in my head
were not helping me out
by screaming useless things like
"what do i do?" "i can't stop" "she can't stop" "we're picking up speed"
"whattodowhattodowhattodo"
so
i threw my whole body at someone's totally unsuspecting
compost and waste carts
which were sitting unobtrusively minding their own business
at the end of their driveway...
yes...threw my whole body...at the compost cart...
while the family that belonged to said compost cart
sat on their front deck bbq-ing and watching me
literally go out of my way to throw my body at their compost cart...
to tackle their compost cart if you will...
and then...
to get back up
and very dejectedly dust myself off
and rollerblade away
uphill
hmmm...
and did i mention i kind of sucked at getting up also
so that probably took me about 15 minutes too
so...
all in all
the blame in this story
also
lays at my husband's athletically inclined feet
for not stopping me from going out
for not seeing ahead of time that
this
was not a good idea...
or for at least not making me put on full body gear
in the fashion of a football player
since there is always the slightest chance
that if i am on something that is moving
and that i fear is out of my control
i will tackle
any inanimate object...

and that is the story of the rollerblades.