so.

i had a dream sunday night
that i was at a craft fair of some sort,
which seemed to be taking place
in my old high school partly
and partly in the mall i used to work at...

while looking for something to buy,
i came across a number of babies
that were, apparently, for sale...
i remember thinking how i did not want a baby,
would not want another baby,
will never have another baby
and continuing on...

until i came to a room that had another baby
and when i looked at it,
the saleswoman said, "oh. that baby is broken."
i picked up the baby
as she continued to tell me that they
already had to remove part of its leg
and that its ear would have to be fixed
at a later date.

i asked the woman if i bought the baby
would all insurance and whatever come with it?
would the operations and surgeries be covered?
and she said yes.
i decided that someone had to buy this baby
and probably no one would
so that someone became me
and i went to look for my husband to tell him
that we had to buy the broken baby.

then i woke up.
and i had a fleeting panicky feeling that
what if i was actually pregnant
right now?
what if that was why i had that dream?
i mean i know that i'm not
but
it kinda freaked me out.