(so you know...
this post kind of
got away from me
and i have decided to let it...
to not rein it in...
to not tone it down...
so...
bad words ahead.)

i am going to post for poetry thursday,
it's just that
the prompt made me remember a poem
that i wrote a long time ago
and i have been trying to find it.

it was the first thing
that came to my head as soon
as i read the prompt.

my other choice was to write about
R...because august 5 is a rotten day...
a fucking rotten day really.
and any prompt that asks me to
think about music
automatically brings me to R.
even if tomorrow wasn't august 5...
a fucking rotten day.

and i have been walking alot
with my new mp3 player
which i love
but also brings back
strong, tangible memory
of walking with R.
and sharing the headphones
of our walkman...
of family vacation car rides
sharing the walkman
and belting papa don't preach
in the back seat.

and seeing this video
made me laugh
and cry a little
cause i knew that i was one half
of the pair that once knew
where he scrunched in nose
and screamed when he
messed his hair.

so.
this is not what i intended
to write
tonight.
tonight.
the night before august 5...
which is really a fucking rotten,
rotten fucking day.