i dreamt of you
the night before
the other night...
dreamt we were in a mall
and that you were leaving
with me...
my dad was picking us up.

and i had this feeling of anxiety
about whether or not
you would be
ready to go
when the
time came...
would you have all your stuff,
would you actually leave with me?

and then my dad came
and you were ready,
your bags packed, we were out the door.

only to discover there were not
enough seats in the car for
all of us
to go.

and i remember my stomach falling
and crying and trying so hard
to make it work...what if i sat there
or you sat here but feeling, that all along,
i knew that you couldn't
come back with me.