~i suspect that bananas are giving me headaches...
has anyone else ran into this? since i started the
weight loss thing, i was eating 2 bananas a day
and started getting headaches every 2nd day...
i looked it up and it said there is a chemical in bananas
that is also in alcohol and when i drink {which is rarely}
i always get a major headache the next day...hmmmmm
{and i'm not dehydrated, everyone always says that,
but i'm not...or defensive either} heehee

~i secretly don't care that much about the weight loss...
i mean i do, but...i just have more important things
to do than spend hours worrying about whether or
not my exercise is going to counterbalance my calories...
i can't {and don't want to} live like that...i still want to
eat healthy/get exercise but i don't want to be
annoying myself {and family} by becoming fanatical.

~i am nervous about 9's upcoming camping trip with cubs...
i think because i project so much of myself onto my kids,
of what i was at that age...and i would never make it
through a two night winter camping trip, that i just
can't get past the fact that he might...he just might,
if only i could force myself to believe in him...
and let go a little...but it's hard...the letting go.

~i realize i need to get up earlier.

~i want so much to happen in my life...
that sometimes i feel maybe i am a little crazy...
other people seem content..why do i feel like
a whirlwind of planning, listing, pushing, learning,
wanting/needing to know more...
but at the same time...heh...i like me....
just like i am...