with some extra days off
and lots of wedding editing getting done.
i was going to come here on tuesday
and share some truths but
somehow i didn't get here until today
but i'm still going to share them...
* i have been feeling topsy turvy up and down again
balls in the air balls on the floor scittering scattering whirling
all over the place like the red orange yellow blur of crisp leaves
blowing outside my window in a gust of wind
settling for a moment
only to get blown up and away again...
i can't settle, i can't focus, i can't stay on the track
life keeps derailing me.
sometimes with bad things, aggravating things, sad things, frustrating things
but other days,
it is with good things...
an afternoon spent at a christmas craft fair with a longtime best friend...
finding video clips online that instantly incite strong moments of nostalgia and memory,
a spicy pumpkin scented candle,
this movie
this video which totally completely absolutely blew me away...
* i need to pick up the camera more.
i need to pick up the pen more.
i need to make time for me more.
i need to pay attention. i need to listen.
to me.
i need to pay attention and listen to me.
i think i have something to say.
if i could stop whirling around long enough to hear it.