I have been making a point of planning out my day
and ensuring that i incorporate a little of what i HAVE to do
in with
some of what i WANT to do.
i feel calmer and quieter.
my mind still races...but the anxiety is less...
because i know i have a start on the things that have been
on my plate for far too long.
i am getting at the stuff that i have put off
until the point that it was nothing short of overwhelming
to even think about it
so i wouldn't even think about it
except in moments of major panic and anxiety.
but i am also making time to stop what i'm doing when the kids come in,
to really listen to them...to their stories...their opinions.
to go grocery shopping with S, planning out meals as we wander up and down aisles,
not in a hurry, making jokes and stopping every now and then for a quick kiss on the forehead.
to take Pugsley out for a run down the middle of our street in the dark of early night,
laughing out loud and hard at how excited he is to be back outside after a cold snap, how he skids on an unexpected patch of ice.
to cuddle on the couch in the evening after work & editing & catch up tasks & housework is done...
to watch a movie with S... under blankets, hands touching, Pugsley wedged on a lap, the cat sometimes gracing us with his presence, too.
to take photos with my phone and to read on my lunch hour...
i am making the time count. and, so far, it has been working.
the only thing is, this is also my period of down time...
the weddings have all been shot and for the most part, edited...
it is too cold out for family photos...
it will be interesting to see how balance comes into play
once the crazy spiral of wedding season starts again...
but this gives me a chance to have the practice down pat.
time will tell.