a moment on a monday


i stand here
with palms upturned
face toward the sky
and heart cracked wide open
waiting.
i stand here with my back ramrod straight
against the wall,
i stand here on the teetery-tottery ledge.
i stand here with precision and decision.
i stand here with possibility
 and poised to jump
    or fly.
i stand here.


geeking out

so.

i am totally loving my new little keyboard for the ipad...
wireless and a cute little fold up case

i immediately bought the "pages" app from apple
and i am hoping that this will replace my need for a laptop
which had become my main reason for why i felt
i couldn't take writing seriously...
how could i edit if it was all handwritten?
i can't concentrate on the main computer (which is in our living room)
i nnnnnneeeedddded a laptop

but not anymore!
this is working out just fine so far...
:)
i even did my half my homework for the writing group today!
yay me!

checking in with myself...

it is saturday again...
10 at night and i am still in pajamas
with hair crammed into a messy bun
with wooly socks on and my husband's hoodie...
the house is clean
and smells of pine-sol and apple cinnamon spray
mingling with laundry detergent...

a synopsis of my week:

READING:  still with game of thrones...i'm reading feast for crows right now and as i
get closer to end, i feel a small sense of panic because i'm coming to the end...i don't
want to buy the hardcover...but i also don't want to wait...i may need to give in and
get the hardcover...it is suuuuuuuch a good series.

EATING:  i am trying to eat better...to track what i am eating...to be healthier...
but this week and i can feel the slide...i want diet pop in the morning again...i want a muffin...
i want chips...but for a bit i was on this lemon/garlic/olive oil in a salad kick and it was
fantastic...i need lunch food that i am excited about.  things i WANT to eat...

WRITING:  i met with my writing group thursday night and it was awesome...it was only our 
second time meeting and the first time, i had a blistering headache...but not this time.  and it was so 
great....i love hearing what the others have come up with and i love feeling that there really are 
connections there...and it has given me a lot to think about in terms of my own writing...oh...and 
i realized that joining a writing group was on my Mondo Beyondo list....and that i could cross it off!!!

COVETING:  still on the writing theme, i really, really want a laptop...just for writing...
but wondering if i can get away with getting a keyboard for my ipad instead.

BRAVE: 
  • wearing my new purple docs to work...and my winter hat with a skull & cross bones on it 
  • {dressing more and more like me every day}
  • asking a question by email that i was really nervous to ask
  • sharing what i wrote with the writing group
  • chairing a meeting  
PHOTOGRAPHY:  taking a photo a day even though i am not posting them regularly and sometimes
they are just random quick shots of whatever is closest because i forgot and now i've just got to get it done.
but planning on working on more of Liz Lamoreux's Inner Excavation and thinking about a theme and a 
timeframe (something other than the 365 days)...

LISTENING:  missy higgins, big wreck, 8 tracks... 

making a decision...

it is no secret
that i adore
liz lamoreux
{with almost stalker-like proportions of adoration...but anyway.}
when looking for a word for 2013
she suggested the prompt of "2013 was the year I..."
which i did
and this is a bit of what i found::

~2013 was the year that i wrote.  it was the year that i published at least one thing.  it was the year that i committed to writing.  that i took it seriously.  that i admitted out loud that i am writer--regardless of proportion.  it was the year that i really tried.  it was the year that i stopped stalling.

~2013 was the year that i felt best about myself.  that i stopped hiding behind pajama pants and baggy shirts.  that i committed to eating better.  to using the gym membership and being ok with looking out of place and feeling uncomfortable in the gym.

~2013 was the i lived with intention regarding my family...that i listened and really heard...that i made time...that i remembered how quickly things can change.  it was the year i let go of preconceived expectations and just loved them for them...not the school's opinion, the public's opinion, other family members' opinions--just for who i know them to be.

~2013 was the year i pushed myself to be more social, the year i pushed myself out of my hermit hole.

~2013 was the year we addressed our money issues head on and stopped hiding our heads in the sand.

~2013 was the year we seriously considered what would be necessary to make our dream of living in the country come true.

~2013 was the year that i dressed like me again.

~2013 was the year that i did an art show at a new venue.

and in the end, it became apparent that brave would work for me...
which had been in the back of my mind but this list really helped confirm it for me.
it just feels right.