affairs.

i have fallen in love...
i am smitten
and lost...

i spend my days daydreaming,
doodling, planning and scheming
and yet
feel guilty
and even a little silly.

i am cheating on my house.
i have fallen in love with another.

it is not the house
so much as the area it is in...
hilly and farm-patched...
colors as far as the eye can see.
a beach that is
sublime...
a village full of artists and actors.

sigh.

unintended.

wow.
i have not posted since aug 7....
that was not meant to happen...

and yet...
we had a wedding of someone very close to us
so plenty of planning and decorating
and reminiscing and letting our hair down
and cleaning up and last minute running around
and lots of hugging with a little crying
and a bit of speech writing
with a dash of stress...
and falling asleep in the front seat of the car
waiting for the doorman and bartender
who offered to drive you and your husband home
at 3 am
to save you the cab fare.

and then i haven't been feeling well this week.

but i will leave you with some calming photos
taken from the cottage we were at monday night...
sigh.
deep breath.
relax.

tuesday.

today is damp and dark and cold.
i am slow
and sad
and still stuck in cormac mccarthys world
of destruction and little hope
as i just finished reading the road...

i want to crawl back into bed,
warm and safe
and sleep until my kids get up
and come in to ask me mundane things
like "can we have the pringles for breakfast"
so that i can scoop them in
beside me
and borrow some of their warmth
and optimism.