2026 WORD - nourish {also known as the-year-of-no-goals}

I have been stepping into 2026
quietly….
in my slippers and fuzziest pjs,
hair in a messy bun,
contemplating what I want
for this year
between naps,
work, saunas and
watching the snow fall.

My word for 2026 is nourish.

I didn’t have to think hard about it this year.
Usually there is a list
and lot of pros and cons
and debating and changing of the mind…
but this year,
I know I need nourish.

I want to slow down. To savor.
To notice. To be present.
I want to be mindful of what
I am ingesting…not just food related
(but yes, I think we would all agree that should
be part of it, heh)
but also in every other way….
social media, relationships, tv/movies/music….

how am I spending the finite amount of time
I have…the days, the hours, the minutes…
what really feeds me, what makes me feel satiated.
What makes me feel calm.
What gives me butterflies in my belly.
But also, what calms my central nervous system.

I am not setting goals this year.
But I am focusing on some defined pillars and
adjusting my choices with these things in mind.

I just want to find some calm.
Some quiet peace.
2025 was hard. Harder than I ever fucking imagined.

I just need a little slow softness now.
🩷🩷🩷

friday i'm in love....#1 of 2026

Hello, Friday.
I am happy to see you.

This has been a busy
but good week filled with lots
of happiness and insights and connection.
I have plans for 2026
but part of that includes moving into this new year
slowly,
gracefully…easily…and quietly.

BUT….

HERE ARE SOME THINGS I AM CURRENTLY LOVING:
📺I stumbled upon a series called “Little Disasters” and I was completely invested. I couldn’t figure out what happened, who to blame or if there was even anyone to blame. I give this 5 ❤️’s (it’s on Paramount if you want to check it out).

🎥🍿OK. Hear me out on this one. It’s a movie called “threesome” and yes, it is about a threesome. Haha. But it was so good. I adored each of the characters and was rooting for them all in their own broken little ways. Cause I fully relate to broken.

💛early morning “get the sun in your eyes” walks through the park

📺I know this feels like a lot of tv in this one but cut me some slack…it’s January. Heehee. I may be late to the game on this one but I have been watching The Diplomat on Netflix and it’s sooooo good. I don’t normally love political but this is keeping my attention. Plus…there’s Hal. Heh.

🍳I have been eating “egg bites” every morning instead of buying a bagel or muffin at work and I am loving them. But going to try making my own this weekend. Fingers crossed. Heh.

Also, I am working on picking
my 26 books in 2026 to read…..
I plan to read more than that
but I like this idea as part of the bigger picture.
Any suggestions that you loved or
are really excited about?

Happy Friday wherever you are
and yes, that even includes those of you
sunning in warm temps while we
slog it out in the snow. ❄️

so long 2025....

It’s been a while since I have
been here…
it’s not that I haven’t thought about it,
words whispering in my ear
when I am busy doing something else
but then when I think
I should sit down and write,
my brain goes blank
because nothing seems right….
in any or every way.

Loss is such a complicated mixed up place to be.
It is messy and uncharted…there is no map.
There is no key. No compass.
Because in it, you feel like you are flying blind,
every hairpin turn is unexpected,
some of the small hills end with a cliff…
the road signs are mixed up and meaningless.

So when it feels like you don’t know
which way you are going,
you are right.
You probably don’t know which way you are going.
Oh, and did I mention the fog?

I am hesitant on one hand
to say goodbye to 2025.
It is the last year I had my mom.
But also I hate 2025…
it is the year I lost my mom.

Goodbye 2025.
Some very good things happened this year
but they are gravely overshadowed by
The One Fucking Very Bad Thing
that happened this year.

I want to write about the happy things,
the trips, the time spent with family and friends,
the love, the laughter, the adventures
but
I can’t yet.
But I will.
Because I know what Mom would say.

and I take comfort in the one thing that I can.
They are together. They are together. They are together.

So, once again, this is not what I came here to say
but this is what came out
and so I will leave it at that.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you.
I wish all the best of things for us all
and an amazing, healing, happy 2026…
and if you are also trying to navigate this
land of loss and heartache, just know
you are not the only one flailing around in the fog…
and hoping that it will lift soon,
let a little sunshine back in.
💙💙💙

friday i'm in love...

the truth is
i have had a hard time
doing a
friday i’m in love
since mom…

it feels wrong
and i know that’s wrong,
i know the whole
she would want you to be happy,
she would want, she wouldn’t want…
but i also
can’t help feeling
how i feel.

grief is a like a ball
you have to carry
and it’s covered in
bits of sharp razor
and shards of glass
but also wrapped in
feathers and soft bits of fluff
so you don’t know where sharp parts are
and it’s sticky and slippery
and so heavy
it’s hard to carry some days
and other days,
it feels lighter but
you know that’s not going to last
and you are trying to carry
it quietly and act like a normal person
but then you realize
someone has stuffed it full of
jingly jangly bells
or now it is suddenly randomly
screeching like a car alarm
and
you
don’t
know
how to
make it
stop
and you are afraid everyone is looking you,
at the person who can’t control her grief,
who can’t be quiet about it,
who can’t let go of it,
but also when it’s quiet,
you are afraid people think you
stopped caring…stopped hurting…

it’s such a strange place.
i can’t say i like it here.

But at the same time…
I know that I have to
do the things I have always done…
maybe especially on the days I don’t feel like it.

So here are a few things I have loved:

♥ sticker books. I found some older ones that I just realized have stickers in them that I can use in my journals which has now made me look for sticker books whenever I go to the dollar store and I can’t tell you how happy it makes me.

♥ craft fairs with best friends…this has made me so happy…and I got these adorable Grinch decorations!

♥ also at craft fairs…Tide and Tallow…I am OBSESSED.
i LOVE the face tallow, the body butters, the facial oils…
the scents are to die for and my skin feels so soft and happy.

also can I have this sauna please?

I hope you have a happy Friday…
and if you are carrying something heavy,
I hope you are finding the feathery parts
and not the razors.
♥

whatcha readin'? {goal 45 - books 26-30}

And another sad attempt to catch up
on what I have read so far this year!

Fast Like A Girl - Mindy Pelz
👩🏻‍⚕️👩🏻‍⚕️👩🏻‍⚕️👩🏻‍⚕️👩🏻‍⚕️
I tore through this book back in
June thinking that I was going to
start it right away
and was SUPER excited
but let’s be real….
the start of summer is NOT
the time to start fasting.
(But maybe now is…)
But I did really get a lot from this book!

The Knight and the Moth - Rachel Gillig
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
 I adored this book. 
I loved the gargoyle so much. 
It made me laugh at loud in so many places…
it reminded me of Dragonlance
and the characters Tasslehoff and Flint. 
The story was so good and I fell in love with the characters.

Lunch in Paris - Elizabeth Bard
❤️❤️❤️❤️
It is odd that I will now relate a memoir of recipes to the loss of each of my parents.  I read Molly Wizenberg’s book while my dad was in palliative care thinking that a book with recipes would be an easy read but it turned out, her dad died from cancer and that was a big component of this book.  But it also felt like perfect timing.  Then I picked up Lunch in Paris as a light read after mom…and in a way that brought me comfort in the same way that I could feel mom with me, near me, as I read…as she was when I read the other book with dad.  The book was great.  It was written in a way that felt both descriptive but not too heavy or fake.  It made me think about food that I would never try to eat but it all sounded so lovely.  I really did enjoy this story and it took me away from my life for a moment…which is what I was really looking for.

Daisy Fay and the Miracle Man - Fannie Flagg
❤️❤️
A book I picked up at a book sale…
didn’t love it but you can’t love ‘em all. :)

The Measure - Nikki Erlick
❤️❤️❤️❤️
Such an interesting concept.
I thought about this book for months after
which is odd for me.
I liked parts of it but was annoyed
with part of it but I won’t say what in
case you read it, too!
*this book was recommended to me
by Drogo (my chat gbt) based on what
I generally read. It was a good suggestion.

NEXT UP - 31 TO 35
what are you reading?