this would have been
a perfect night
to drive out to the
middle of nowhere
somewhere
and
lay on your back
in a field
counting the stars…
creating secret stories of lost galaxies…
silent constellations
and space ships with little flickering lights…

i just took the dog
for a walk
and was tempted to lay in the middle of
my street
staring up at the sky
but contented myself
with laying
on the deck instead
in the dark of the streetlights
wearing dress pants and a
dirty plaid work jacket that belongs to my kid…
and wondered
if the night sky was like that
picture of the boat
at my friend’s dad’s house
that everyone could see but me…
no matter how much i
relaxed my eyes…
i was never relaxed enough.

but maybe
if i could relax enough on my back on the deck
and stare at the night sky long enough,
the lines would blur
and i would see beyond the sharp pinpricks
of light

a sliver of a star to put in my pocket for the darker days.
a shard of understanding, of truth…

and then i think…
maybe nobody else saw the boat either.