today is the first day of second week of vacation...
and it is the first sunny day in weeks...
i was going to mow the lawn
and start cleaning out what is going
to be my new "me" area...
{why is it i can't use the word studio?}

but.

instead i am going to pack up the kids
and spend the day with my best friend...
playing in her pool, taking pictures,
listening to the kids marvel at
the freedom a nose plug can give...
i'm going to spend the evening at my
sister in law's cottage,
where alcohol will be offered
but politely declined
after having imbibed a little too much
on the weekend.

i had a great weekend reconnecting with
some old friends...laughing about drunken
antics from 20 years ago...
wondering about those girls...
those girls that were us...
did we really do those things?
was that us?
was that me?
time is funny.

and i have to the conclusion
that i am a stage in my life where i need my friends,
i need them closer than i have in a long time.
my kids are getting older,
they need me less and less...
this is the time in my life where i need to let
some of the focus fall on me,
so that the less they need me will not hurt so much.
it is good for them to rely on themselves,
to be their own people...
it is good for me to rely on myself...
to be my own person.

it is a faint line to find sometimes...
where others end and i begin.