#tbt the black and white edition

it's throwback thursday...
and this one that goes way back.

this is my mom
and my uncle emmett...
this photo ab-so-lute-ly kills me.
i look at it and i want to crawl into it,
i want to know how old she was,
how old he was,
what were they thinking, where were they going.

i look at the way she is holding his hand
and that little striped shirt and skirt over leggings
and my heart just melts into a
messy little black and white puddle
on the floor.

if you knew him, you knew that
on the outside, he was gruff and tough
and cursed like a sailor
and LOVED to say inappropriate things
just to make you mad
but that he was also
sweet and soft and caring...
when i think of him,
i remember his big laugh, his booming voice
"Bones!" he would call my mom "Bones, c'mon over here!"
he used to drive by my garden in the summer and
then call me to tell me what I should
do to keep the birds from eating the
tiny seeds and pulling out
my string beans...

this is not what i intended to write
when i came here...
but the way he is holding her hand...
well...what else could i write?

leavin' on a jet plane...

when my girl was little,
she used to cry when that song would play.

yesterday,
i cried in the airport parking lot...
not even cried...i sobbed...
loudly
and somewhat out of control
after dropping my girl off at our tiny little island airport
so she could board a big plane
and fly off to toronto.

alone.
by herself.
first time big adventure.
for two whole weeks.

when it was time to say goodbye
i couldn't speak.
my throat closed over, if i tried to talk
it would have come out as a howl of
please don't go...just stay here...we can have fun...
i'll buy you ice cream!

but i knew that she had to go...
i knew that she was ready, i knew that i was over reacting
i knew that people go on vacations every day,
they take train, planes and automobiles.
they have fun, they learn about new places,
they learn about themselves.

they come back.
they come back.

she'll come back.

but my heart still hurts.
being a parent is hard.

is it ever going to stop snowing?

snow today,
snow tomorrow....
it's enough to make a sane girl cry.

i took a drive on saturday...
15 wanted to go see his friend
{who happens to be a girl}
so i put my camera in the passenger seat
and after i dropped him off
at his friend's
{who happens to be girl}
i allowed myself to get lost
on back country roads...

when i picked him up
he told me that they made their own version
of "burger love" at home
and that he helped with the spinach
(i am certain my boy has never seen spinach
before in his life, other than in a popeye cartoon
i am not sure that i have ever seen spinach...).

and i marveled at how they grow up
instantly
right before your very eyes.

the light was perfect as we drove home...
15 picked the music (nirvana for the most part, fine by me)
and i asked him at every stop sign
right?  left?  straight?
let's just get lost.
and the sweet thing is he totally put up with it...
even when i stopped the car
multiple times
to lay in the ditch and take photos
of farms
reflected in mud puddles.

i'm a lucky girl.