empty

lonely friday nights
spent wondering if i was wrong
to want
time
to myself...
now that i have it
i no longer know what to do with it...
dark house
meaningless tv droning in the background
my breath heavy
my footsteps echo

kamikaze

my head is spinning
in all kinds of directions...
work, money, lack of money
bills, writing,
time
lack of time
connections
goals
walking
exercise
sunshine...running on empty
not enough sleep
trying to catch up on the shows i've missed
need a new cd to go in the new car...
photography...upcoming weddings...engagement photos next week
baby photos tonight
have to put the last family's photos on a disc and deliver
don't forget to charge the battery again
whose turn is it for dishes
what time do i have to pick up 11?
why are these jeans so tight...
yoga...breathing...slow it down...meditate
have to pay that fine
why are there never any groceries in this house
has it been that long since i wrote a blog post
broken lawnmower
last week of school
need a barbeque
where
do
i
start...
deep breaths...deep breaths...deep breaths

saturday seven

7 things that caught my eye
made me gasp
smile
covet
made me wish i knew how to play a guitar
made me want to grab a pen...
made my mouth water
and my heart beast fast...

1.  gorgeous red shoes how could not be happy in these shoes!

2.  a blog that i have read for a long time, but i wanted to mention her again today...
because her wring and photography never fails to blow my mind!

3.  and she also led me to number three...where i was mesmerized by her hands...

4.  i can't wait to see this movie...even though george has never been a favorite of mine...but...i'm fickle.

5.  and maybe i should make these to eat while watching the movie...mmmmm...caution..clicking on link will cause excessive mouth watering.

6.  how could you not looooooooove this?  the fact the one i clicked on was from say anything was the clincher...the second thing was that it involved many lego men...i'm hooked

7.  and finally...my newest addiction...i know you have probably already seen this but i have been hooked in a major bad intravenous DT kinda way...so felt the need to share...and hook others...

and that's my saturday seven...hoping to be a regular feature here in geekland...should i ever get organized...here's to hoping.

tuesday truths

tonight
i am blurry
and quiet
silent inside
thoughts have to be pulled out of me
{they stick like warm taffy}
my bones hurt
and my brain
is tired
thick and heavy
shiny molten lead
so much going on
so little down time
running on emptiness
fumes that sputter sputter
stop.

tonight
i am more of me than i have been in a long time
dark walk down a lonely street
red stop light blinking in the fog beseechingly
telling me to pay attention...
this is your life...
pay attention.

tonight
i sat and listened as other people's visions...
impressions...
perceptions of me
were reflected back to me in story form
and all that was expected of me
was to accept this gift
and say thank you
and i was blown away by the mirror they held up...
the version of me that i would not have thought
other might see
always thinking i am seen as i see me in my own
memory/mind...quiet, shy, rule follower, safe.

tonight
cracked me open
a little bit
and left me wanting more.