the truth is
i'm kind of ready
to let go of 2016...
bring on 2017 already...i'm ready.
#happy
the truth is
there will always be
dishes to be done
and bills to be paid...
to-do lists as long as your arm
and a clock ticking too fast to keep up with...
there will always be
mean people in the world...no matter how old you get,
how nice you try to be....
there will always be sadness, anger, illness...
sometimes feelings will get carried away and fly off all misdirected...
sometimes you will feel misunderstood...or teeny-tiny-small in
this big wide loud and chaotic world...
there will always be self doubt
and comparison...
uncertainty and anxiety
a mile high if you let it
sink it's teeth in...
worry and politics and fear and who's right...who's wrong
and what really matters
when you look at the big picture...
but most of the time
you want to stick your head in the sand
so you don't have to see...or think...or have an opinion....
about the big picture
because the big picture is
terrifying sometimes.
BUT the truth is
there will always be spring, too...
sunshine on your face
and the freedom that comes with
shedding winter layers...
there is music, there are books,
there are new clients to meet
and new friends to be made.
there are cuddles on the couch
while a movie plays in the background...
cartoons and fresh new coloring books
and the smell of crayons...
the sound of your girl singing upstairs,
the guitar strums as your husband
takes time to learn your favorites songs,
famous blue raincoat
and hums along to
robin hood and little john walking through the forest...
your tall gangly 16 year old
heading out to practice kick flips again...
there are kittens who have become cats
and a pug who thinks he is the baby of the family...
there's chicken fricot and
feeling better after a long flu,
best friends that know you better than anyone,
bullet journals and pretty post it notes,
plans for gardens and road trips
and coffee dates...fresh lemon pie
and buns from water street bakery...
there are the waffles from the farmer's market
with fresh berries and real whipped cream,
the smell of freshly washed sheets, or
the way your husband walked our
elderly neighbor up his lane
so sweetly you had to go in the house
so he didn't see you cry.
there is all of this
and so much more.
this is a choice.
this is the choice.
i just have to remember that the choice to be happy
is always there for me.
happy happy happy happy happy happy
every year, i pick a word
to use as a focus for the year...
some years, it works great for me.
some years, well...they have been duds.
last year's word was
RISK
and it worked pretty good for the 2015...
it was the stepping stone to this year's word choice really.
part of my reason for choosing RISK last year
was because I was thinking about slowing down on the
photography business...
but i was scared to.
but i did it.
for 2016, i have about 8 weddings booked
which far different from the 18-20 i have been doing the past couple of years.
and, although it still gives me a little fear...
what if i stop...will people forget me...will i lose out...what weddings will i miss...
how much regret will i have...
you know...that kind of thinking....the scary kind.
but i am also feeling happy...a sense of relief...
and am making plans.
my new years resolutions consist of a lot of the same items
i add every year...and every september...and every spring...
weight loss, walking, water, fitbit, yoga, eating better, etc, etc, etc.
but this year, i have intentionally added items
FOR FUN...things that will make me HAPPY :) :) :)
cause really...that's what i want this year....
just a big mess of giggly, loud, a-little-in-your-face,
hold your sides laugh out loud HAPPY...
(with a little bit of weight loss, cause really, who am i kidding?)
hello 2016!
and so long 2015...it's been fun!
i love going back & looking at the past year...
what worked, what didn't...what changed and
what i realize now that i want to change.
this year, instead of reading through journals
i re-read all of my facebook statuses and
went through my photos...
sign of the times.
(well, for someone like me anyway...
who posts probably more than anyone needs to, heh).
2015 RECAP
i read 8 books in 2015. EIGHT books.
i mean seriously. that is embarrassing.
i used to read 8 books in a WEEK.
LOVED the land of decoration...was a little disappointed by Adult Onset (but the bar was raised high with Fall on Your Knees & will likely never be met again). LOVED the museum of extraordinary things.
STUFF I WAS PROUD OF:
- started this squarespace website and imported my blog onto it...which was terrifying for me to do. Almost as terrifying as the decision to allow people to know about the blog. :)
- tried improv and it was fun!!
- told a story at storytelling circle which made me feel ill but was glad that i did it.
- VOTED FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER
- did nablopomo for November and only missed one day!
- auditioned for a part in a play...and got one! (which...is also terrifying).
- shot 3 weddings in 3 days (& i did not cry)
- did school photos for the first time and it was so much fun!
- planted two little gardens
- made a cucumber!
this guy graduated (& I couldn't have been prouder) <3
these were my most liked photos on facebook...hahahaha....from sock monkeys to middle fingers to burn outs and snails...this is the story of my life.
2015 was the year that I
- made a firm commitment to take 2017 off from photography
- saw the counting crows
- waited with the world in anticipation of the muppet comeback
- got really really lost on a dirt road
- made a pugosaur for halloween
- realized i loved blueberry bagels
- had my lost fitbit replaced and then FOUND my lost fitbit a couple of months later
- made my whole family into Peanuts
- dyed my hair black again
- followed geese
- looked for F18's and snowbirds
- took pugsley for his first dairy bar ice cream
- tried to get photos of a flock of seagulls in a McDonald's parking lot
- fell twice, for the SAME wedding
- began a solar toy obsession
- survived both emma and campbell going away on trips
- did photo-a-day project until May this time! Better each year!
- complained on FB about my lilac shortage so long that someone made a sweet delivery of lilacs to my doorstep!
2015 you were a fairly good year
and 2016 is looking pretty damn promising already! :)
Moving forward with an open mind/heart and a
sense of humor...I'm a man with a plan, stan....bring it on.
I'm ready!