2022 - RESOLVE (warning::long post ahead....sorry, heh)

January 2, 2022 Arlene Giddings

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Every year, I choose a word
to set the tone for what I want out of
this coming year…
to set the stage, establish the mood,
create the atmosphere…

to start the year off on a right foot…

I have been doing this since 2008 and some years,
it has worked very well for me;
other years have been a bit of a dud.

I have chosen words like
embrace, adventure, happy, risk,
balance, brave, leap, connect, dare and focus..

Last year, I chose glow
and, honestly, it was one of my
best choices ever.

The other years that I can say
worked really, really well
were unfold and adventure.

But glow?
Glow was fan-frigging-tastic.
And possibly because 2021
was a good year for that kind of thing,
for self care and calm,
for being introspective, for spending time
focused on me…
when I chose that word,
I was picturing intrinsic happiness…
happiness from within.
And that’s what I got.

I did things for me and by myself.
I pushed myself out of my comfort zones,
I allowed myself comfort when I needed it.
I adventured and created and rested and
made decisions all based on what I felt
I needed most…not what I thought others
might think, or want, or judge.

I looked after me.
And it was a fantastic year.

Like, seriously, a FANTASTIC year. ♥

This year, I didn’t contemplate my word
for long…it was like it came to me
immediately…no hmming and hawing,
no wondering if it’s the right word…
the word RESOLVE just popped into my head
and left no room for any other words.

I feel like I start a lot of things,
I talk about what I want to do,
what I should do, what I need to do…
but if you know me, you know I often
don’t do any of these things.

The definitions of resolve is
to decide firmly on a course of action…
a firm determination to do something.

And that really spoke to me.
Loudly. With all caps and exclamation marks.

So, hello 2022.
C’mon in. I’m ready for you.

Happy new year to anyone that still
shows up to read this…heehee.
I mostly keep this blog as a bit of a journal
and accountability tool for myself
but I appreciate anyone that takes the
time to stop by my little weird
and random corner of the internet-world.
I hope you have a year of laughter, health and
happiness! ♥

goodbye 2018...

December 31, 2018 Arlene Giddings

It’s New Year’s Eve
and I am wishing that I had thought ahead
and gotten food or treats or diet coke (!!!!)
but now it’s dark out
and I am in my pjs
and don’t want to leave the house.

It’s a sad state of affairs.

Heeheeheehee.

I realize I have not blogged since November
but honestly…
my life was kind of falling apart off and on
all through 2018
so I am actually surprised that I blogged as much as I did (93 times).

If you follow me on Facebook or Instagram,
then you likely already know that my marriage of 20 years
has sadly broken into pieces & while I spent a good portion
of 2018 just trying to hold the shards of my heart and head together,
I also tried to appear normal…I didn’t want to admit out loud
for a long time
that anything was wrong…but, eventually, I had to
and, honestly, admitting it was a good thing for me, for all of us, in the end.

So. Anyway. That news is soooo 2018
and I really don’t want to talk/think about it anymore.

This time last year, I wrote about how I wanted 2018 to be a year of fun
not realizing at the time that 2018 was actually still going to be a big year of suck.

Therefore, I reserve the right to re-use my plan of attack & make
2019
a year that I focus on fun. :)

Every year, I go back and re-read my blog & journals for the year that is passing.
This year, well, I just didn’t want to read my journals because…that’s just depressing
and for the first time ever, I am considering burning journals.
But, for my blog, I mainly only talked about the good things, the funny things,
the stuff I love…so here are some of the highlights:

I read 36 books! My goal was 24 so yay me! I realize I didn’t write about all of them on here so I am planning to do a short summary again of the ones that I missed writing about. And now, I need to set a new goal for 2019. Is 25 setting the bar too low? Heh. Oh…any recommendations??
I sold a bunch of watercolor cards (and journals & a canvas!). This blows my mind. Seriously. And makes me incredibly happy. I have big plans for expanding this in 2019 so stay tuned! :)
I sang Mony Mony on a speaker & didn’t get kicked out!
I saw real live eagles.
I went to the air show and sat in a Hornet (a stationary hornet, but still….)(and I had to line up with 50 little kids to do it…but still….)
I joined a writing group, started nanowrimo, got further on a story than I ever have and submitted a story to a contest (I didn’t win…but I submitted it!)
I got to talk on a taxi CB….always a goal of mine.
I created an online dating profile. This has been both amusing and horrifying.
I got my thumb stuck in a box of cold shots at the liquor store which prompted the cashier to say “Well. THAT’S a first.” Heh.
I tried cabbage. I learned how not to stir fry it and that stir fried cabbage could actually kill me. And they keep it by the turnips if you are ever looking for it. And cauliflower and cabbage are not the same thing.
I got in a car accident. Goodbye little accent…I still miss you. :(
I ate a lot of jujubes, broccoli, ice cream sundaes, cucumber sandwiches and popcorn.
We had unplanned kittens.
I did a whole month of Inktober! :)

I am not going to lie though. I didn’t love 2018.

But I learned
that I can do this…we can do this…
that a separation does not mean the end of the world
and it doesn’t mean we failed…
things happen, people grow and change…
(24 years together is a long time…we should just be proud of that)

And that, yeah, there are days it’s going to totally fucking suck
but there are also little bits of good in every day
if you look for them…some days, you have to look really damn hard
but they are there.

And that it’s ok to accept help or support.
That’s one I am still struggling with.
I know we have such a strong support system of friends & family & co-workers…
and I felt like I should write
”thanks for being there for me even when it
felt like all I was doing was pushing you away”
in EVERYONE’S Christmas card….
because…that’s what I learned I do…

The truth is we are alive and healthy…
and 2019 will not be about spinning my wheels any longer.
2019 will be about getting some traction
and moving forward…about having fun and being open minded…
making new friends and reconnecting with old ones…
laughing so hard you spit your diet coke through your nose…

and lots and lots of adventures.

Happy New Years Eve to you…if you have stuck through this
long and painful post, hahahaha, thank you.
I am always totally surprised when anyone reads this
(and always always always so appreciative….)
so thank you so much for being here!

Now…is it too late to order Chinese food?
:)

in the blink of an eye...

February 1, 2016 Arlene Giddings

january has come and gone.

i feel pretty good about it though.
i had chosen the word HAPPY
as my focus for 2016
and january, which is normally
not a great month for me,
has been pretty
damn happy.

january brought::
-good news that i was not expecting
-windows of time to see both family and friends
for suppers and coffee dates and trips to the farmer's market for....

a trip to see star wars in 3D with this guy that i love...

a date night in the big city...and a new coloring book!

and now we are coming into february...
for this month, i want to try to focus on a few other things:

so many things, so little time!!
:)

happy happy happy happy happy happy

January 6, 2016 Arlene Giddings

every year, i pick a word
to use as a focus for the year...
some years, it works great for me.
some years, well...they have been duds.

last year's word was
RISK
and it worked pretty good for the 2015...
it was the stepping stone to this year's word choice really.

part of my reason for choosing RISK last year
was because I was thinking about slowing down on the
photography business...
but i was scared to.

but i did it.

for 2016, i have about 8 weddings booked
which far different from the 18-20 i have been doing the past couple of years.
and, although it still gives me a little fear...
what if i stop...will people forget me...will i lose out...what weddings will i miss...
how much regret will i have...
you know...that kind of thinking....the scary kind.

but i am also feeling happy...a sense of relief...
and am making plans.

my new years resolutions consist of a lot of the same items
i add every year...and every september...and every spring...
weight loss, walking, water, fitbit, yoga, eating better, etc, etc, etc.

but this year, i have intentionally added items
FOR FUN...things that will make me HAPPY :) :) :)

cause really...that's what i want this year....
just a big mess of giggly, loud, a-little-in-your-face,
hold your sides laugh out loud HAPPY...
(with a little bit of weight loss, cause really, who am i kidding?)

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

of things i may do with all my free time