Boo! Halloween Grinches & Pugosaurs! & itty bitty kittens...

October 31, 2015 Arlene Giddings

it's Halloween here in the big orange house
where i am the world's worst procrastinator
and feel like the Halloween Grinch...
ran out at 4:35 to buy candy
then publicly complained about buying said candy
cause we don't usually get many kids...

but also stuffed poor pugsley into his dinosaur costume
and took him out into the front yard
armed with treats and the camera
for a mini pug-photo session...

isn't he the cutest happiest looking pug EVER?!?

and here we have the rarely seen pugosaurus...famous for bulgy eyes and adorable but extremely dangerous snaggletooth

i also tried to stuff the kittens into a knitted pumpkin hat
but they were having none of it.

and now it's almost 7:30 and just about done for another year...
where i'll vow that next year i will do better,
i will be better prepared and the house will be terrifying
and we will make candy apples and robotic spiders
that leap at you and cobwebs hanging from the trees..

but chances are
i'll be playing the procrastinator again
and trying to jam two cats into a pumpkin
and pugsley into a wonder woman costume.
:)

what do you want to do...

October 28, 2015 Arlene Giddings

i had a meeting today with some very nice people about possible
studio space...
and i feel like i blew it.
like i hmmm'd and hawww'd...
i stuttered and flustered...
i think at best i came across as
ill equipped, uncertain and
somewhat flaky.

i keep thinking about the conversation,
running it around in my head in a loop...
what did i say-why did i say that-why didn't i say this

but there was a pivotal moment for me
when i was asked
what do you want to do?

everything.

that's what i said.
everything.
and the more i think about it,
the more i think
i could not have said anything more
true.

but maybe i should have elaborated...
what could i have said...

i want to
take photos of toys and leaves and rocks and pugs and eggs and broken melting popsicles...
build a robot out of yarn and sticks and saran wrap and glitter
write a story for kids
write a story for grown ups
doodle
build a fairy house
create a miniature city
have grown up coloring parties
create paper dolls with intricate outfits and fancy names
make sock puppets
make a cartoon
build a life size flying saucer
make a paper mache T-rex named fred
sticker and glue and cut and paste and melt and sew and tack and tear and play.
play.

i want to play.

this seemed to be the most fitting photo to go with this post if i am trying to convince you that i might be a little on the flaky-over-excited-about-a dirt-road-wants-to-build-a-T-rex-odd side.Please picture me saying "DO YOU SEE THIS DIRT ROAD BEH… — this seemed to be the most fitting photo to go with this post if i am trying to convince you that i might be a little on the flaky-over-excited-about-a dirt-road-wants-to-build-a-T-rex-odd side.
Please picture me saying "DO YOU SEE THIS DIRT ROAD BEHIND ME???" cause...that's what was happening. :)

and then part of me thinks...you know what...
maybe you shouldn't say all that.
maybe everything...
by itself...
was enough.
:)

you are doing the best that you can...

October 21, 2015 Arlene Giddings

here i am
hoping against hope
that i am not the only one
that finds myself feeling this way.

scared...panicky...short of breath
for a thousand different reasons
but no specific reason in particular...
feelings of guilt that i am not doing enough,
not fast enough, not quick enough, not enough-enough.

{you're not walking enough anymore that bill is late you should be further ahead in editing why does your hair look so stupid where is 16's backpack we NEED to get groceries but first i have to clean out the fridge the car needs an oil change i should make an appointment for a physical oh right 16 needs an eye appointment i have to get those photos printed what the hell how do i have 32 emails again there's nothing to make for supper i have to get groceries take out again you're not walking/reading/writing/blogging/seeing friends or family enough anymore}

my scittery-scattery brain jumping and running
and leaping from one thought to another
in giant run on sentences...
i have to...i should have...i will...i must...i need to...
this bill and that email,
which commitment and what to-do list.

my days are full...like...full...
and full of good stuff, don't get me wrong...
kittens...and pugs...and fall leaves...and laughing
snuggles and shared stories and haunted barns
and corn chowder...

but i feel like lately
"you are doing the best that you can"
is my mantra....my slogan...my little bit of truth.
i am doing the best that i can.
and that's all that i can do.

other than let go....
i could learn to let go.
let go of the fear of disappointing others,
of being judged...of not meeting expectations
when you don't even know what the expectations are...
let go. breathe. and go watch the kittens battle each other
while the pug tries to inhale them but only ends up
sneezing on them which makes the girl with the
blue green hair giggle and the boy who
just turned 16 can't pass the kittens
without stopping to snuggle them...
things are good...things are fine...
that guy that you married...the one that always knows
just what to say when you get like this...(cause you always get like this)
will tell you
"you're doing the best that you can".
and that's ok.

grateful...

October 12, 2015 Arlene Giddings

it's thanksgiving weekend here
and i feel that i have plenty to feel grateful for:

an amazing little family that gets along and laughs...a lot... :)
a fantastic extended family...parents, sibling, in-laws, nieces & nephews
a job that i go to five days a week that i love...and great people to work with!
a second job that feeds my creative side...maybe a little too well sometimes but it's all good!
my beautiful little island in the fall {and every other season really...i love them all..even the dreaded winter}
the pug...(and the fact that the pug is about to have new semi siblings...KITTENS!!) (more about them later!)
old friends that have know me forever and still love me...and new friends in the making...
my fantastic clients and photography friends and supporters...this wouldn't be NEARLY as much fun without any of you!!!
the ability and opportunity and freedom to vote, to maybe help make a difference
the first season of Roseanne is on Netflix
new presets (thank you Pretty Presets!)
cold diet coke in a can (cause sometimes...its just the little things)

there is much more more that i could say i'm grateful for
but right now, my eyelids are drooping from turkey overload...
and my bed is calling me with it's siren song of a warm duvet
and maybe a heating pad...(more things that i'm grateful for).

i'm still here...

October 6, 2015 Arlene Giddings

it has been far too long since i have found my way back to this page...
and I HAVE SO MUCH TO TELL YOU
and show you!!!

like weddings!
and kittens!!
and fitbits!!!
and books i read...movies i've seen...
books i WANT to read
movies i WANT to read!

but right now...
i have to edit because i am so terribly
terribly behind..well...not really...
but i work better under pressure...
even if it's my own imaginary self imposed pressure.

but for now...a photo of a sunset...
cause...well...it's a sunset...by water...with pretty light...and clouds.